Refiner's fire

i actually have a lot in mind that i want to blog about (like weddings- I was tagged on a few notes about this on fb, or the proverb I really love or something that happened earlier). but this is my choice for today: Refiner's fire. a song i heard earlier at church. it goes like this:

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy
Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

Purify my heart
Cleanse me from within
And make me holy
Purify my heart
Cleanse me from my sin
Deep within

Tonight is a blast. God revealed a lot to me. He used different people. And a song.

Lets take a closer look…

Refiner's fire

Refiner’s fire? What does this really mean? Well, we all know what purifies gold right? Fire. Yes, I know, we are not gold. but we are like gold. we are precious. We are worth more than gold. and like it, our natural form is not purified. We have a lot of impurities. Dirt. We are filthy. We are sinful. We are stupid. we need to undergo a process. We need to be refined.

This process can be very painful. Ive gone through a quite a few major refinements. And im so thankful I did. Pero while I was there, believe me, if I could just vanish—I would. If I can escape, I would. It is just so painful. There are times that I felt so alone. I felt deserted. Though I always appear happy inside I am dying. The simplest things can make me burst to tears. Where is the Lord at these times? I thought He was just watching from afar. But im wrong. After all those painful fire episodes, I realized He was there all along. He was holding me. He was the only reason I survived. He allowed that because he wants me to be better. He wants me to be the best I can be. Like gold, we need fire to be purified. Yes, its worth the pain. When I look at the mirror, I like what I see. A girl tested by lot of things but have conquered. A girl who cant just be swayed by opinions. A girl who’ve learned what she’s worth. Someone stronger. Someone better. I may not be better than you but I am better than what I am before.

My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord
I choose to be holy

Its my heart’s desire to be holy. Im not being self righteous or anything. I want to be holy not because I can be holy. Im not—I cant. But just because that is what we were made to be. Sin just ruined everything. I want to please my Maker in my own little ways. Pero what struck me most is this line—“I choose to be holy”. CHOOSE is actually an action. We are not holy by default. But we can choose to be holy. We can choose right over wrong. Life over death. It’s a decision. I know I have a lot of bad decisions. Things I shouldn’t have done. Words I shouldn’t have said. Thoughts I shouldn’t have entertained. That’s just me—I am lousy. I can be stupid. but hey, my God is a God of 2nd chances. Everytime we get the privilege—lets choose what is right. Let us choose God. Lets us choose to be holy. Not for anything but to please God. I want to give my whole life to him. I am far from perfect but I want to ba an object of joy to him. Choosing to be holy is not as easy as it sounds. Often, it is the “fire”. It is painful. It is easier to get out of it and go with the world. But only through fire gold is purified. Just endure it and watch yourself transform. 

Set apart for You, my Master
Ready to do Your will

I want to be different from the rest of the world. I want to be set apart for my creator. i don’t want to be mediocre. I want to do something extra for my great Father. I am ready to undergo the refiner’s fire if that is what it takes to be holy. If that will make my Father happy. If that will make me a better person. If that will help me fulfill all his plans for me. “Master, here I am, you servant” 

Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Purify my heart
Let me be as gold, pure gold

This is a nice prayer. I want to be purified. For Him and by Him.

I love myself now. Not because im perfect. But looking back, I am stale—I stink! All of the pain is worth it. Resisting His guidance will only hurt you more. So do yourself a favor. Be obedient.  (disclaimer: I don’t consider myself obedient. But I try to be. )

i cant-- and wont say i enjoy going through that fire!! no no no! it is painful. depressive at times pero knowing that God is there i can rest assured that tomorrow will be a brighter day and a better me. :)